How to Be Good at Escape from Tarkov (Even If You’re a Weak Liberal Vegan)

Let’s get one thing straight: Escape from Tarkov does not care that you cold brew your own cat milk or that your mousepad is ethically sourced cork. Tarkov is a brutal, spreadsheet-with-guns survival simulator that will absolutely delete you without remorse.

And yet, yes, yet, you can thrive in it. Even if your idea of “tactical gear” is a thrifted flannel and strong opinions about pour-over ratios.

Here’s how to dominate Tarkov while staying true to your plant-based, vinyl-collecting soul.

1. Accept That Tarkov Is Basically an Art Film

Tarkov isn’t a power fantasy. It’s an existential experience.

You will:

• Die instantly without knowing why

• Lose gear you emotionally bonded with

• Question your life choices at the extraction timer

  
  

This is not a bug. This is Tarkov’s vibe. Treat it like an A24 movie: confusing, bleak, and secretly brilliant. Once you stop expecting fairness, you start learning.

2. Gear Fear Is the Enemy (Minimalism Is Your Strength)

Good news: you already hate consumerism.

Tarkov rewards players who:

• Run cheap kits

• Learn positioning over flexing gear

• Accept impermanence (very on-brand)

  
  

Think of your loadout like capsule wardrobe combat:

• One decent rifle

• Ammo that actually penetrates

• Armor that doesn’t feel like wet cardboard

  
  

You don’t need meta builds. You need reps. Die, re-queue, repeat. Very grindcore. Very you.

3. Learn Maps Like They’re Indie Coffee Shops

Map knowledge is everything in Tarkov.

If you don’t know:

• Spawn points

• Common player routes

• Loot hotspots

• Extraction angles

  
  

…you’re just free-range XP for someone else.

Study maps the way you research cafés:

• “Okay, Customs has good foot traffic but dangerous regulars.”

• “Woods is peaceful until it absolutely isn’t.”

• “Factory is a mistake. Always.”

Once you know where people should be, you’ll know where they are—and where they definitely aren’t.

4. Sound Is More Important Than Aim (Yes, Really)

You don’t need cracked aim. You need ears.

Tarkov audio tells you:

• What surface someone is on

• How fast they’re moving

• Whether they’re terrified (you can hear it)

  
  

Pro tip: If you can hear yourself moving, so can everyone else. Crouch-walking like a haunted Victorian child is sometimes the correct play.

Slow is smooth. Smooth is deadly. Also very mindful.

5. Ammo > Guns (This Is Not Call of Duty)

Repeat after me: the bullet matters more than the gun.

A $30k rifle with bad ammo is a placebo. A trash gun with good ammo is a lifestyle choice.

Learn:

• Penetration values

• Armor classes

• Why that guy didn’t die even though you “totally hit him”

  
  

Once you stop blaming Tarkov and start blaming math, you ascend.

6. Play Solo Like a Ghost, Not a Hero

You are not John Wick. You are an observer.

Solo Tarkov success looks like:

• Avoiding fights you don’t need

• Third-partying like a raccoon with a rifle

• Leaving alive with something, not everything

  
  

If you extract with loot and no kills, congrats, you won. Tarkov is not impressed by your KD. It only respects survival.

7. Use Your Brain, Not Your Ego

Chads sprint. Survivors listen.

Ask yourself constantly:

• “Why is this quiet?”

• “Why would I be here right now?”

• “Is this loot worth the risk, or am I being greedy?”

Spoiler: greed is the #1 killer in Tarkov. The #2 killer is doors. Respect doors.

Final Thoughts: You Belong Here

You don’t need to look like a PMC catalog model to be good at Tarkov.

You just need:

• Patience

• Curiosity

• A willingness to learn from pain

  
  

Which, honestly, makes Tarkov the most vegan-hipster-friendly hardcore shooter ever.

Now grab your ethically questionable AK, load in, and remember, the real extraction was the emotional growth along the way.